1. The Sink is to be kept clear at all times when it is not in use. The last thing I want to see in the device I use to wash dishes is a myriad of dirty dishes, cutlery, scrambled egg, old mayonnaise, and the rest of that disgusting fucking shit you eat.
2. Surfaces are to be wiped after use. Simply because I don't wanna eat any of your leftover fucking crumbs and dribbles of HP fucking sauce.
3. If a dish is starting to show signs of mold or, god forbid, RUST, you wash it. You wash it straight away. Or I have to do it. And I secretly hate you for that.
4. If you drop food on the floor, you pick it up and wipe that spot (NOT with the dish cloth either you disgusting BELL-END).
5. If there's no more room for dirty dishes beside the sink, this is not a sign that you should put it somewhere else, it's a sign that you should DO THE FUCKING DISHES. Cos we both know none of those fuckers are mine...
6. If you have to balance litter on top of the mount everest of litter sprouting out of the top of the bin, it's time to change the bin bag.
7. And don't put the previous binbag on the floor beside the bin, the wheeley bin is literally 6 fucking feet away.

Anyone got any more?

No I don't know what happened to me either, I used to be quite content to live in relative squalor. Go figure.